


Paranormal Siege

by PapaKapkan



Category: Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six (Video Games)
Genre: Comedy, M/M, Paranormal Activity AU, Spoof
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-12 04:59:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13540194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PapaKapkan/pseuds/PapaKapkan
Summary: Got this idea a while ago, and since I remembered I can write, I decided to go ahead and write it.Alexsandr Senaviev moves to Columbus, Ohio to start fresh. He ends up in a haunted apartment complex. His neighbor Magnus Jensen seems completely immune to the creatures that lurk in the shadows after nightfall. Most neighbors don't live there very long. Alexsandr is also immune, but when he invites some of his old friends over from Russia, they don't seem to quite get along with the night. Things go way out of hand, and they get out of hand fast.





	Paranormal Siege

**Author's Note:**

> This is *very* loosely based on Paranormal Activity. It's more of a spoof.

This is supposed be a fresh start for me here in Columbus, Ohio. St. Petersburg just wasn’t cutting it anymore, so I improvised. Shuhrat says I should have never left. His boyfriend, however, seemed pretty happy that I was leaving. Although, that scrawny little weasel would never say to his lover’s face. I can still hear Maxim’s voice telling me not to leave, and the disappointment on Timur’s face as well. I didn’t want to leave them behind, but perhaps I shall invite them over for Christmas or something. I stare out of the plane window awaiting touchdown in the airport. Getting here was easy. Now, settling in will be the hard part. I decide that perhaps taking a nap is a good idea for the rest of this flight. Time will pass by muc sooner that way. 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I wake up to someone gently tapping my shoulder, I open my eyes and see a man with some stubble on his face, forest green eyes, and long dirty blonde hair put into a lazy braid and tossed over his shoulder to keep it from getting caught on something as he walks the plane. I grumble angrily at the small man and he just smiles at me. 

“Hey, the plan has landed, lad. I don’t know about you, but I do not think you wish to miss your stop, right?” he says to me. I jump up and hit my head on the compartments above. I hear him gasp and immediately start apologizing. 

“I didn’t mean to make you jump! I swear, I am so, so terribly sorry!” he shouts, truly in distress. 

“No apology!” I say, gritting my teeth in pain. I clearly startled the man, as he jumps back about six inches like a scared rabbit. He holds one hand up to his chest and asks again if I am ok, and then he starts blubbering. 

“You know, if you don’t want apology, I could, I don’t know! I could buy you a coffee? I could… give you a ride to where you need to go? I could, I could… buy you dinner?” We had both started walking together after I gathered my bags, and we were now off the plane itself. I looked curiously at the smaller man and considered his… now several offers. 

“Ok, take me out for coffee, show me around city if you know it, and before you take me to my new home, feed me some food. I don’t care if you have to bring me to your home for it. This could be considered a random blind date with stranger.” I said, the small man then beamed happily and started blubbering various things about the area and how much he loved his… “townhome” as he called it. I think that is a style of building. 

For the rest of the day, I followed the blabbery little man with the strange out of place accent all over Columbus, who calls himself Magnus. He took me to a little ice cream place called “Rita’s” and it was actually very good. He also then took me around the ice cream place into an apartment complex that he says he has lived in for many years. He welcomed me into his “humble abode” and had me sit down at his kitchen table whilst he made something for dinner. He pulled out a ratty binder that has clearly seen better days. He leafed through it briefly and then let loose a sound of of approval and set the hefty thing onto the counter, poorly propped up with a small fry pan. I noted several pagan artefacts scattered about the kitchen, and some pagan-esque symbols put onto the wall partially hidden by wall planters full of fresh growing herbs. The place has a gentle vibe and smells of cinnamon, lavender, and coffee. He takes a good inhale and relaxes in the chair at the table. 

“Sorry, this is gonna be a bit, if you want, you can have a sit and watch some television in the living room, remotes are on the shelf by the it!” He chirps whilst pulling something from his fridge. Several things crashed to the floor, looks like a few potatoes and a couple of stray carrots. I do as he says, I ignore the strange symbols on the basement door as I pass and the altar by the front door. I flop down on the couch and I mindlessly let some program on the TV guide me into a lull. I nearly fall asleep when I smell something delicious. 

“Heyo! I got some good eats happenin’ here!” He says, and I assume that means he is done cooking. We talk over dinner and I find out he likes to crochet and make soaps and candles. He offers me some sort of wooden charm, he says it could protect me since I just moved in. I decided, hey, why not? I am always okay with protection. I take the little wooden amulet that he claims saved his life before, and that he wishes it do the same for me. 

“So, where are you supposed to go, Alexsandr?” Magnus asks me, the poor thing seems incredibly formal in all situations. I decide to finally look at my phone and I see that I am right next to where I should be. I stop moving towards the back door and look at him. 

“I live right next door, I am your new neighbor!” I say, I am fairly glad I know at least one neighbor now. He gleefully walks me nextdoor. I decide to give him a hug before I go inside my front door. He stiffens up for a second but eventually wraps his arms around me and gently pats me. I can smell lavender and various herbs that he used in the dinner on him. 

“Hey, you have a good night now, okay, Alex?” he says to me. I immediately speak.

“You can call me Sasha,” I say quickly, he looks baffled, and then chuckles. 

“Ok, then you call me Mags. Everyone else does.” He replies quickly. He waves at me as he walks through his front door. I linger outside for a little longer than necessary. When I go inside the darkness just is everywhere. The air feels thick, and cold. Something moves in the corner of my eyes, but I decide to ignore it. I am full of whatever noodle thing that Magnus had made tonight, I am happy and full. I climb up the stairs. If anything really wants to attack me, I think I will be ok. But I am big Russian, I think I would win.

I nearly scream like a little girl when I am nearly pushed back down the stairs. I grip the rail so hard I nearly pull it out of the wall. I climb up the remaining four steps on my hands and knees and travel past the guest bedroom, the stacks of boxes looming over me like evil creatures shrouded in shadow. Then past the bathroom, the sounds of me shuffling on the floor echoing unforgivingly on the empty tile walls. As I enter my bedroom, I put myself into a squat to quickly turn on the light and I fall back to my hands and knees and quickly shut the door and lock it only to hear the knob turning soon after, as if some unforseen force was trying to enter. I scramble quickly to the balcony door and double check that all three locks are locked. I then scramble into my still unmade bed and grab my blanket from one of my boxes that somebody had delivered for me weeks ago. I throw it over me and ignore the sounds of something screaming in the darkness outside my bedroom door.


End file.
